“Be discerning….and wise.”
This is the message I hear from the Allfather. I think it is necessary in these troubled times. Do not be so quick to vilify those who have a different opinion than you do, even if you find it loathsome, something is to be learned. Something may be gained. We may find strange allies in these difficult times, those we previously may have counted as allies and friends, may bear false witness against us.
“Be discerning…and wise.”
Open ourselves and ask why in all things. If it feels wrong or corrupt, it probably is. If the crowd tries to tell you blue is red do not agree, even if it makes you popular. Use your good judgement. Learn to thrive in troubled times. Take lessons from your surroundings. Nature can show us. Give us wisdom. Teach us to thrive in the most hostile environment.
I received the directive from the Old Man to learn all I could about the things that mattered most to me, so I’ve been reading a plenty. Mostly things on polytheism as a theology, but I’ve also dug into The Hebrew Goddess by Patai as well. I’d not heard anything from the Old Man since December but did hear this a few weeks ago:
“So I see you’re out making friends.”
I took that and the amused tone that went with it to mean that he approved of my learning about other deities, specifically female ones. For so long I’ve had difficulties connecting to the feminine Divine, and often if a goddess is reaching out, I have trouble seeing it. Patriarchal belief is hard to shake off despite its toxicity.
I’ll be honest some of his theories concerning the Shekinah I find a bit of a stretch, however the chapter on Asherah was brilliant, and I’m sure quite groundbreaking at the time. As a child I started questioning the idea of a male only god pretty early, and for monotheists who insist their god is sexless/genderless refer to Yahweh/Allah as She and watch their reaction. It will probably be one of disgust and anger. Because in the Judeo/Christian/Islamic mindset women are dirty. We are other and incapable of being a reflection of the Divine. Our only true value in the three faiths is that of child bearing mother. And even those children are not truly our own, but one more possession of the father.
There was a time in my life where I sought a monotheistic compromise and chose what I thought to be the lesser of three evils. Indeed, Islam does at least place an equal blame on Adam and Eve and regards women as spiritual equals. However, many other prohibitions on women still remain. We are unclean during our periods and for forty days after childbirth unable to approach god. Rendered unclean by the bugaboo of patriarchal men who say god made all things perfect- except women of course. By their logic we were deficient from the beginning. I’m not necessarily saying that if the cult of Asherah had persisted patriarchy wouldn’t have persisted, I think the toxic patriarchy present in polytheistic India disproves that, however at least women would have had something to revere in the sacred that was a reflection of themselves.
Ullr is a God that I have encountered a number of times, but one that I honor, as both a God of Winter and to some extent as a God for young men. I realize that second part is UPG, however my first powerful encounter with Him was after a particularly rough time with my adolescent son. Ullr was felt and blessed our family with comfort and a measure of patience I didn’t know I possessed.
God of the Yew Bow
Of the yew dales
Trusted of Odin
Lord of winter holly
And newly fallen snow
I hail thee in the cold
I hail thee in the crisp morning light
I hail thee in understanding
As you bring me guidance for angry boys
Who rage and grieve
At things they lost under the snow
I have a small outdoor alter under an apple tree on my property. I made an offering of wine there tonight and remember the words I spoke. I may use this again. Too often I forget these rather spontaneous words.
I offer to thee in the quiet
I offer to thee in the dark
I offer to thee in the light
I offer to thee from my heart
In addition to studying the runes, I have established a regular devotional practice for Frau Holle. I may honor her through remembrance and song on various days of the week, but Sunday is special. Sunday has become Her day at my home and I honor her through hard work and time set aside for my family. Sunday has always been the day I set aside to get things organized and ready for the coming work week. Grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, I’ve typically done on Sunday. It works for me. So as I associate Frau Holle with the home and the hard work of women, this was the day I chose to honor her most.
What I Do:
- Organize and tidy/clean. Not something I normally relish, but now when I do it, it’s with the knowledge that such necessary work is pleasing to the Goddess. She blesses those who work hard without complaint.
- Bake something. Usually some kind of bread, for my home and in honor of her. I am not a baker, but today, I finally pulled off two loaves of edible bread. This is the third week I’ve been doing this, I’m pleased my efforts have finally paid off.
3. At the end of the day, I light the candle at the shrine I have set aside for her and offer words of thanks or a devotional song.
This is the first time I have set aside a specific day for a deity, and I have to say I find it incredibly fulfilling. Frau Holle can certainly fill your spirit with warmth and mirth, and allows you to experience joy in the what would normally be considered drudgery by many. She brings such a sense of contentment in my life.
I haven’t blogged anything for ages, mostly because of laziness, or lack of anything meaningful to say. Or maybe too much to say and most of it political. I’ve finally burned out watching the political chaos of America, and have decided, while still very important, I need to return to my devotional practice and magical work. When I encountered Odin in 2014, it was as Runatyr, the God of Runes, and he set me on a path of self discovery and betterment. I am grateful, and humbled. Loving and honoring Odin these past few years has had an overwhelmingly positive effect on my life, and saw a maturation of my personality. No longer am I the weak little girl seeking the constant approval of others, now I feel fully a woman, devoted to my children and family, strong in my convictions, joyful in being alive.
The past year has seen me neglect my Runic studies and I have returned to near daily meditation (due to some external coaxing), with the knowledge given that I can’t effectively use the runes unless I know their meanings and depth inside and out. It’s exhausting. I have no idea why his call has suddenly grown so strong within me after a relatively quiet year, or where this seeking of knowledge will take me, I only comply, eager to learn, even if I do not know the reasoning behind this sudden push to immerse myself into the runes. Who am I to question the urgings of a God?
I’ve been busy and there’s much I need to write and very much want to write, but have been doing other things.
Namely, studying and reading and using this time during the summer when I’m not working to explore what’s next, as I feel the time for change is coming. I’ve been reading Bonewits and his Druidry book, just wanting to explore my options. Most of my Gods are Norse/Germanic but I feel I have very little in common with Asatru. It’s an interesting place for me to be in spiritually.
Every couple of years I feel it the spark in me to just get things done….Now it’s in regards to my job and any long term career goals I hope to achieve this late in the game. I’m not ancient (I’m 40), but I’m not getting any younger either.
Stay tuned and wish me luck.