Walking with Runatyr

I haven’t blogged anything for ages, mostly because of laziness, or lack of anything meaningful to say.  Or maybe too much to say and most of it political.  I’ve finally burned out watching the political chaos of America, and have decided, while still very important, I need to return to my devotional practice and magical work.  When I encountered Odin in 2014, it was as Runatyr, the God of Runes, and he set me on a path of self discovery and betterment.  I am grateful, and humbled. Loving and honoring Odin these past few years has had an overwhelmingly positive effect on my life, and saw a maturation of my personality.  No longer am I the weak little girl seeking the constant approval of others, now I feel fully a woman, devoted to my children and family, strong in my convictions, joyful in being alive.

The past year has seen me neglect my Runic studies and I have returned to  near daily meditation (due to some external coaxing), with the knowledge given that I can’t effectively use the runes unless I know their meanings and depth inside and out.  It’s exhausting.  I have no idea why his call has suddenly grown so strong within me after a relatively quiet year, or where this seeking of knowledge will take me, I only comply, eager to learn, even if I do not know the reasoning behind this sudden push to immerse myself into the runes.  Who am I to question the urgings of a God?

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Artio

I’ve been constructing a sacred place on my property.  It’s not much and it’s outdoors, but it is an expression of the female divine.  Artio has come into my life like a slow moving summer storm, and I’ve no idea what this goddess desires from me.  Maybe it is merely the gift of awareness. I do not know.  

I do know that knowing Her is knowing life.  Feeling it in the very fiber of one’s being. Every heartbeat from the deer racing through the forest, to the worm crawling along the forest floor, with Her you can feel it when you experience her Divine presence.  It can make you weep.  So why not build a shrine/space for this goddess? The great bear goddess who guided our ancestors thousands of years ago across Europe, who led us to food and warmth inside her caves?  In fact, I think such devotion is long overdue. 

Devotionals

My journey to Holle was gradual and unexpected.  She is an ancient and wise Goddess who understands my fears, hopes, and dreams.  She is a keeper of the keys to every home.  Caretaker of weary mothers, children and lost waifs.  She simply is……..

For the Weary Mother Looking for Answers

Will I ever find comfort

Where can I find a friend?

She journeyed world weary upon the barren landscape, no tree to be seen on the horizon,  nothing to cut through the gloom.

She came upon a well, water to the brim, humming with the creation of galaxies

And wondered at the depths within

The whisper of knowledge released

Of fearful abandon

And what is communication with the gods but a type of madness

A giving in

A yielding to bravery and strength

She takes the plunge

The bone cold depths

And discovers the secrets of the past

To eternity and all that is

Devotionals

You, Odin

The wise and the strong

You destroy me and remake me

A Colossus

Firm footed and large

I stand at my destiny and accept my path

Resigned

I flee from you no more

I am yours

And the fear I bring now is one of ecstasy, love and devotion

Devotionals

In all the current chaos we pagans must not let our devotional practices suffer.   We give praise to our Gods in various ways, I write poetry and song, muse on the traits of the Wise Ones…..may a grain of such wisdom be imparted on me.  I was going through many various google docs and came across some poetry I am pleased with.  I may be sharing some over the coming days.  We need our Gods presence in the world.  We need an alternative to the current order.  We need a better way.

One for Odin

Old man

The one who whispers

With bold tenderness into a woman’s heart

Who finds you laid bare

Skin and bones

And applies the healing balm

Knowledge and fury

Breath and calm

Loving  life with newfound might

A determination  never known

He waits for you on the mountaintop

The Wanderer

The rune master

Sit beside him and hear his words

Let his breath fill your spirit

Let your souls be cleansed and bared.

Trump is a spec next to our Gods

I felt today the immensity of the Gods. That Donald fucking Trump, his bimbette daughter/wife, his creepy clown faced sons, and the rest of the fool’s brigade currently heading our government are minuscule next to the power of the Gods. 

What is a measly Trump in comparison to the awesome sovereign giver the Morrigan? 

What is a measly Trump next to the ancient wisdom of Holle? 

What is a measly Trump up against the great Calleich?

What is a measly Trump pitted against the wisdom of the Allfather? 

What is a measly Trump against the ferocity of Kali? 

What is a measly Trump against the endless ageless great Gods from every pantheon??

Nothing. 

CT scans and the gods 

I had to receive one on my head today due to some weird neurological changes in my migraine patterns.  Sometimes we just go around in our day to day and we become complacent that things will go on working as they should. 

I’ve had common migraines for years. I experienced one with aura, limited vision and left side body numbness last week.  It was frightening.  A few days ago another aura, more bad vision and some short lived aphasia. Due to some odd issues a few years back involving body numbness the doc ordered a scan.

So lying on the machine today, pumped full of dye, being pumped full of who knows how much radiation, I closed my eyes and thought of Odin

Odin, great god that gives me the strength to withstand all things

Who tells me to face all my fears  with bravery… and strength

So that I may endure.

The fury of spring

Living in North Carolina, you soon realize that Spring is the absolutely best thing.  Living here since 2011, and even a few years before that, Spring has become my favorite season. You start seeing signs of Spring as early as February if you know where to look.  On warmer days I’ll see ants venture out, by March I can see buds on the trees and by early April flower buds erupt and nature’s most beautiful shade of green, spreads herself across the landscape. Even weeds look lovely. I curse the allergies that sometimes come with it, but anyone who lives in the American South knows if you are wise you appreciate the Spring.  This is the time to rejoice in the outdoors. To languish on decks and porches past sunset, for soon summer will be upon us and the increasingly warmer sun.  May we heal our great Earth…..

Bears

So something happened to me a long while back that I wish to share with the world. When I hedge ride/journey or whatever noun you want to use, I usually write down what I’ve seen or learned and that’s the end of it. It’s a very personal thing. I never feel the need to share my experiences with spirits or gods that I may encounter. I do not seek the validation of others, or wish to be hip into some kind of UPG sharing of every little thing that seems to be rampant on the interwebs.
As a general rule I honor the Norse/Germanic gods, Odin, Holle, Ullr, and Thor primarily, though if one would ask, I hail all of them. The most intense experience I’ve had with a representation of the divine however occurred with what would be considered a Celtic goddess. At the time I did not even know her name. This will be the first and last time I recount such an experience, if only to see if anyone out there has experienced this goddess in a similar manner. This happened in July of 2015, I lost my father in May of 2014 and my mother in February of 2015. At the time I thought I handled it all very well, though despite our troubles, I felt close to them both. I had long made peace with my father’s passing. Despite the physical miles between us, I knew the moment his spirit left his physical body. His illness was long and tortuous, and his death did not come as a surprise. I never felt like I had that kind of closure with my mother. She succumbed to sepsis, and my last conversation with her was long distance, as I screamed into the phone, trying to elicit a coherent response from her on the line. She was so far gone she could barely articulate words, I remember a feeble hello and then a series of unintelligible guttural sounds, while with my landline phone I called my sister frantic, imploring her to call 911. She was too far gone, she hung on a little under a week, and I was there for a bitter conversation with the doctor who informed us that even if she woke up she would never be the mother we knew before. I saw her one last time, my great mother, who had shaped the woman I would become in so many ways, a shriveled thing, not yet out of her sixties. I talked to her, but I could no longer feel her spirit. What made her an individual, my dear mother, had long left. Left without a goodbye, and what lie before me that day was a mere husk of what she had once been. I did not get to properly say goodbye.

So fast forward to July of 2015. I decide to ride the hedge. It was an urge that came upon me suddenly and unexplained.  So I laid down upon my bed with my staff and some chosen runes and I entered a world unfamiliar to me.  It was a place of mild summer warmth and starlight.  A great female bear approached and spoke to me. She took me to the edge of the hill looking down and as I did I saw many women. Ancient ancestors, engaging in village life.  She told me to go down and walk among them. I descended alone and as I mingled among the group they did not acknowledge me outright, but I felt a surge of recognition as I realized that I was the product of all these extraordinary women that came before me. Without them I would not exist. 
I walked past them, and came to a lake. I looked down and saw crabs rising out of the murky depths, and the spirits of the water briefly appeared to me below. Stepping stones emerged out of the water and compelled me to walk across until I came to a beautiful waterfall.  I paused and watched the water flow and suddenly I felt the presence of my father near me.  A butterfly flew past me, bright in the moonlight, and in it I felt my mother.  I wept.  Without any words conveyed I felt their love and guidance from beyond. I felt the assurance in the waterfall that life continues, in the butterfly that they had changed and moved on. I stayed there until their essence faded and made my way across the lake again. The women were gone and when I made my way back up the hill I found the bear again. I laid beside Her in the cool grass, wept a moment, then rested. I was spent. Then she told me that I should be free with my words. To live my life fully. 

After much thought and many signs, I came to the conclusion that the bear was Artio, a goddess I had never heard of before.  I do not know where she will take me, but I’ve felt her power and it is great. Awe-inspiring.