A lot happens in five years. I’ve a divorce and a remarriage under my belt along with a myriad of other failures and successes. I’ve dealt with a lot of pain and experienced a great deal of loss. I mourned a marriage that was probably never meant to be, but nonetheless produced two wonderful children. They are my strength and my inheritance.
I have slowly picked up the pieces of my life after living dependant and dormant for so long. I am not all the way there yet, but everyday I try to put forth a greater effort. Tomorrow I close on a home, something I would not have thought possible a few years back. Yet, today I am here. I am saying goodbye to a space, despite all the woes of renting, I have grown to love. The spirits of this land have been good to me and I shall miss them. They in turn too shall miss me, for I have given them much respect and love.
On my path back to paganism, one of the earliest things I did was connect with the wights of my house and those that existed outside in the immediate area. It seemed the natural thing, as if some ancestral yearning was calling back to me. I began to leave offerings at trees, a compulsion I couldn’t explain but knew in my gut was the right thing to do. I remember having an a ha moment later on when I read somewhere how the early church forbade such offerings amongst the Anglo Saxons. After that, it also became an act of pride, that I was fulfilling the will of my ancestors, and that the Church did not triumph in me. I was carrying on a tradition many years strong, even if it had been long forgotten. Somewhere, in me, my ancestors had made sure I remembered.
Soon I will say goodbye to this beauty, a glorious Maple who has helped me on my way. I shall miss her, and before we part ways leave an offering of thanks to this place that I used to call my home.